Ask the Expert

Q: My son throws a big tantrum every morning when I drop him off at daycare. What can I do?

A: Begin by giving yourself plenty of time -- you don't want to hurry your child through the separation routine. Plan on spending five or ten minutes with him, looking at a book or playing a game, at the daycare center each morning. Get him involved in an activity and allow him to adjust to the new environment.

When it is time for you to leave, never sneak off. You don't want your child to think he can't trust you. Calmly tell your child you are going to leave and then give the signal to the caregiver (this should be a signal that you've discussed with the caregiver ahead of time) that you are going. The caregiver should then step in, hold your child, and maybe even walk to a window to wave goodbye.

Don't loiter after you've said you're leaving. Don't go back in if you hear your child crying. In most cases children stop crying within five minutes of a parent's departure. If you need to ease your mind, ask the caregiver to call you at work and let you know your son calmed down.

Patricia Hearron, PhD, professor of child development and early childhood education in the Department of Family and Consumer Sciences at Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina, has been involved in childcare and early education for over 30 years.