Ask the Expert

Q: My three year old always tells me when she needs to use the potty at home, but at daycare she continually wets her pants. What should I do?

A: Start by talking with your child's caregiver and find out what's happening. Does she have a set time when all of the children go to the restroom? Is she watching ten other kids and having trouble responding immediately when your child says she needs to go? Ask the caregiver to remind your child to go at certain times (right before a nap or after snack-time) for a week, to get him in the habit.

Ask yourself some questions too. Does your child have a special way of telling you he needs to go that the caregiver might not be aware of? Does your child sometimes forget to tell you when he is absorbed in activity? Is the bathroom at daycare accessible? Do you think your child might be frightened of the bathroom at the daycare center? If so, maybe you need to spend some time with the child in the bathroom there.

If your child comes home wet -- that's a red flag. But before you immediately blame the caregiver, be sure your child is not afraid and making big efforts to keep his mistakes a secret.

Whatever you do, don't make a big deal about this in front of your child. Ask him gently what's happening and you might discover an easy fix.

Patricia Hearron, PhD, professor of child development and early childhood education in the Department of Family and Consumer Sciences at Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina, has been involved in childcare and early education for over 30 years.